A Rather Stupid Adventure
by rabid-fan11322
Summary: Aria wasn't the smartest girl around. Breaking her mother's priceless antique table showed that. Wearing a suspicious necklace that was inside said table was also rather stupid. But kicking a Jashinist in the unmentionables while waving a scythe around her head. Now that had to be the stupidest thing she had ever done. Not even blowing up a bullies locker could top that. OC SI


**Hey I'm back! Ducks to avoid rotten fruit and other such objects thrown. Okay I've had a huge writers block (around a year right?) and kinda gave up on my other stories until further notice. I do have half-finished chapters somewhere on my laptop so I will get around to updating them. One day.**

**On the other hand I've decided to start another story after reading all those amazing OC Self-Inserts. And yes I have fallen in love with Akatsuki/Naruto inserts. So this will be all about them. If you don't like it then shoo.**

**Also I thought that I should just warn you guys that my writing might not be up to your standards. I am still in school, and I don't mean high school or Uni. And yes, I know I have a bit of a potty mouth.**

**Anyways onto the disclaimer!**

**I don't own anything about Naruto but Aria, Bob the Truck, and any other OC's that may come along later. If you do want your OC's to be in the story, PM me!**

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Greenday blared out of the radio, its tune vibrating the already unsteady car. The old truck bounced along the dirt path, rocking its passenger, me, side to side. I wasn't technically suppose to drive yet but hey, you only live once and shit like that right? Its not like anyone would actually check for my age. I looked older then I was. The numerous piercings, dyed hair and cat eye contacts may help contribute to the fact. The hot sun beamed down turning the already hot air, you guessed, even hotter. The air-con had broken down again but I couldn't get it fixed until Tuesday. But then I'd have school. So not until next Saturday. It sucked to live in a small town with only a single garage. But I didn't have much of a choice. My parents wanted me to be independent and shit so they decided the fastest way to do it would be to drop me off in the middle of nowhere. Of course they had bought a house for me and signed me up for the local high school but still. How immature could they be? I mean what normal parents were they?

But then again I am talking about my parents. The parents who, since I was 5, had signed me up in numerous wild and crazy classes. When would I ever use Muay Thai in a normal day? Or flower arranging? I mean I understand the life saving lessons or the cooking lessons but seriously. Bagpipe playing classes? And here they'd gone and do yet another crazy thing.

Bob, my truck drove into my driveway, shuddering into an abrupt stop. The thing was half dead but then again I had bought it second-hand. More like third, hell even forth-hand if such thing is possible but it worked. And it was large with space to carry several tables in the back. Which is what was, coincidentally, in the back of the truck. And it had enough identity for me. I mean with BOB spray painted across the side in a neon pink contrasting heavily with the black paint job, it had to have enough personality. I jumped off Bob turning around to access the back.

Unlocking the latch I heaved off the table. Luckily it was only a large, heavy, thick table because it immediately dropped on my toe. "Fuck, fuck fuck. Oh Jashin, fuck." Jumping around I held my toe. I had stupidly worn flip flops today. Looking down I noticed that the table had shattered slightly too. "Fuck! Mom's going to kill me! She'll stick me on a prong and roast me like a shish-kebab. Oh fuck, this tables was her great, great, great times a infinity grandmother's. I'm doomed. I'm beyond doomed, I'm dead!" Ah I didn't even have to bother living, I was just that doomed. I could already imagine her reaction. Her large red face beaming up to me. Her forked tongue hissing in the air. The horns on her head becoming even more prominent. No she wouldn't even look like that! Instead she would most likely look at me and say "I'm disappointed in you Aria." Uh she'd try the guilt-trip me. Uh Karma's such a friekin bitch! I knew I shouldn't of released that firework in Yasmean's locker. Even though she was being an utter stuck up/bitch/slut ec cetera. Ha I can still remember her face. That mortified grimace. And her expression to the words spray-painted on the locker door. "Katsu, Art is a Bang!" Ahh I'm such a Narutard.

Yelping I picked up the table. Maybe I could fix it? Superglue and duct tape has worked wonders for me before. Or I could use the almighty Kragle. Ah I loved that movie so much, I mean that Wyldstyle/Lucy girl was awesome! I mean I could totally see myself as her. Except for the insecurity. I like my name plenty. But that hair was totally wicked. Uhh I groaned, holding my head in my hands. I suffered from slight ADHD like Percy Jackson, whose actor in the movie totally sucked. I mean he's suppose to be hot, come on. Give the girls some eye-candy! And here I had gone again. "Uhh Aria get a fucking grip on yourself. Pick up the damm table and see if you can fix it." A voice in the back of my head reminded me that talking to yourself was the first sign of insanity. Isn't hearing voices the second sign of insanity? So I'm not insane cause I don't hear voices. And that would mean Sakura is insane. Groaning again I realized what I had just said. Uhh I'm such an idiot! Glaring at the table which had started all this chaos I bent down to pick it up. Maybe if I glared at it long enough it would burst into flames, kinda like what Itachi 'Weasel' Uchia does. But then again if I did that Mom would be even angrier. Hitting myself on the head to get back on track I turned the table the right side up.

The corner of the table had been snapped off. Luckily it was a clean break so hopefully it'll be very easy to glue it back on. And the inside of the table was hollow? How the hell was it so heavy then? Uhg the world truly hated me. Looking into the hollow space I noticed a small pendant and a scroll inside. The pendant was shaped as a half moon, the inside being made of a red lacquer. On it was inscribed some kanji. A Japanese necklace then? I had taken a few Japanese classes in middle school because it took to long to wait for the daily Naruto episodes to be translated into English. Watching it in Japanese was just so much easier. I'm pretty sure it spelt 'Dream' and below that 'Wash.' Wash? Looking at it again I realized that it actually spelt wish. Admiring the necklace again I slipped it on placing it next to my totally wicked Jashin necklace. Wouldn't it be extremely awesome if it actually worked? I know already what I'd wish for. To be in Naruto and meet the Akatsuki and other characters! Mainly Deidara, Sasori, Hidan, Gaara and Kiba. Or have them transported over dimensions into my house. And scare them to death. With tech-no-logy! But then again if they did come over they might try to take over the world. And kill people. And start WW3. A sweat drop ran down the side of my head. Maybe it was a very good thing that they didn't exist.

I lugged the broken table out of the driveway into the garden shed. The shed was my awesome adobe. During the summer holidays before school had started I went and had it fitted with those super cool speakers that shot colored water to the tempo of the song. An amazingly soft, furry, black rug was on the floor while the walls were painted black with random neon paint splashes everywhere. Scattered around the room were several bean bags and on the wall with the only window I had placed a gigantic poster of my fav manga characters. With Deidara being in the centre. On the wall opposite the door, I had painted the Jashin symbol with a neon green color underneath the projector. It almost looked like it was oozing slime. Over the door was a rolled up projector screen. When I pulled it down and turned on the projector I had an instant movie theatre. Have said that I loved my hideout? Cause if not, well, I can always say it again. I pushed the table across the rug placing it next to the biggest bean bag I had. It would make a good side table. I turned and went to the only other table in the room. That was were I made all my slightly morbid art. I slid open the drawer and rustled through the items inside. Now where the hell was the almighty Kraggle? Found the string, tape, buttons, random action figure, old letters, pressed flowers, the carcass of a dead spider. I'd have to keep that to prank Yasmean later. Heard she hated spiders like most of the other prissy kids. Ah there it was! Lifting up the glue I repaired the desk. Huh it looked as good as new! Cue happy dance!

Now what the hell should I do now? Bored I lounged in my favorite beanbag. Maybe I should watch another movie? I'd recently bought Mama the horror movie on my apple tv. I'd been saving it up for a stormy night but now would also be a good time. Granted it wasn't dark but still. I had been in the middle of turning on the tv when a loud crash emerged from my house. Startled I jumped up. "What the Fuck was that!" I whispered. Maybe a thief? I heard from the all mighty TV that theft rates have gone up. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The minute my day starts looking better it gets even worse. Karma is a fuckin bitch! I really shouldn't of said that I was bored. Glaring at the sky, er, ceiling I pointed the middle finger up. Hah. I stalked over to the cupboard and opened it, and pulled out a scythe. Yes, you must be wondering why the fuck does that girl have a friekin scythe in her room! Well, cause I can! I was in China and visited a weapons shop in hope of finding something similar to Hidan's scythe. Unfortunately I didn't but I bought this one instead. It was a hassle to bring it over but because it was blunt I could get it past immigrations.

I lifted my black scythe over my head and exited my room of awesomeness. I sneaked through the garden, slowly humming the Mission Impossible theme song aka the best spy song in existence. The back door was still open so it was relatively easy to get past. I entered the kitchen and stopped, listening for voices. "Fucking hell, Get off me you fucking shit Heathen!" A voice boomed from the living room. Wow was that just me or did that sound like something, I dunno, Hidan would say? Oh please don't let my thief be a Narutard. "Get off of me you insolent brat, you're the one on top of me" Wait, cross that off. Please don't let the thieves be narutards. That would just be irony to the most stupidest extent. Maybe we could settle this over a cup of tea and the latest Naruto episode? One could only hope.

Wait a sec, didn't I put my priceless signed copy of Naruto in there? The one where Deidara the awesome made his first appearance. Fuck no, I wasn't letting some fucking thieves taking that! I ran out of the kitchen, crashing head first into the living room. "Stop and don't you dare move! No ones stealing my FUCKING book!" I screamed while waving my scythe around. "Off of my fucking property, or Jashin damm it, I'll force you off!" I landed in the center of the room. Well actually I landed on top of someone in the center of the room. Heh that'll teach them to mess with me! I stomped my foot down hard, kicking the thief in the unmentionables. "Shit!" The thief cursed rolling in a ball thus forcing me off him. "Fucking hell bitch why the fuck did you do that for!" Staring down I finally realized that the thief was wearing an Akatsuki cloak and looked a lot like Hidan. "Oh shut up you Hidan cosplayer! You deserved it for breaking into my property you thief!" Looking up, I realized that there were other, around eight more, people standing around wearing the same cloaks. Wait a sec where was Konan? "What the fuck, you sexist pigs, where the fucking hell is Konan?" Several of their faces went dark. "I mean I see everyone here from Akatsuki, even the ones who died, but not Konan?" All the faces went dark, I could even tell that the Tobi/Madara cosplayer was angry. But then again it was their fault for not cosplaying Konan!

All of a sudden the Deidara cosplayer came up behind me. But how the fuck was that possible? He was in front of me a few seconds ago! He held a kunai up against my throat, the cold metal slicing open my skin, letting some blood ooze out. Crap that thing was real. Who the hell would give these obviously insane people real weapons? Something licked my ear, wetting the tissue. What the hell? I turned my head, letting the kunai dig into my skin even deeper. A tongue was poking out of Deidara the Cosplayer's hand! His hand, his supposedly fake Kekkei Genkai, was real! Whipping my head around I truly looked at all the Akatsuki. Kisame's unnatural skin tone and his overly realistic gills, Kakuzu's and his unnatural stitches and eyes, Zetsu and his too detailed body paint and plant thing, Itachi and his eyes that really didn't look like the contacts I thought they were at first and Pein/Nagato with his Rinnegan. Which were not contacts. That was when I realized that I, Aria Catherine Francois with my amazingly awesome attitude and anger issues had pissed off a group of mass murdering criminals. And sorta told them their future.

I.

Was.

Fucked.

Well on the bright side I guess I don't have to worry about Mom finding out about that table anymore.

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**You like? Should I continue with this story? Oh and if anyone has any ideas or wants to help beta me you're welcome to PM or leave a review. Also I haven't decided on the complete pairings yet. Though it might just be Deidara×OC or Akatsuki×OC. Whatever fits.**

**Remember reviews make the world go around. And flames will be used to roast marshmallows. Constructive criticisms will be welcomed. Betas will be welcomed even more. So join and help me!**

**Until Next time,**

**Rabid Fan**

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